Firmament

Firmament (noun)- the vault or arch of the sky : heavens

It's early in the morning. He sits in a shallow clearing of tall grass some distance away from the back porch. Everyone is inside but he sits in the dew and takes clumps of wet grass to his face, roots and dirt and all. The shrooms he ingested are fully awake in his gut. He is supine and looking up at the flat firmament filled with green neon gas bubbling as if a cauldron of toxic waste is lodged between this world and one beyond, wondering how it would feel to drown.

If you're interested in writing a few sentences around this word feel free to post it.

Tailorwise

I thought it would be fun to find a random word and use it in a paragraph. This way my vocabulary expands AND I have a reason to write. Not that I don't have plenty of content to write about, it's just that I am reeling back on the personal stuff.

So the word here is "tailorwise" and yes I use it immediately. Fight me about it I don't care.


The lone figure sits tailorwise; his right leg interlocked and woven tightly with the left. The crew demands blood and throw garbage at him. Call me what you want, but blind to liers I am not. With his back towards them, he is comfortable waiting out the riot. You're doing a terrible job at walking the plank, one of his shipmates yells. I ainght apologizing nor going swimming with the sharks so hoot and holler all ye want but I'm sitting right here, he replies.

Morgan Freeman teaches you how to make a fireplace fire

I was looking around on Youtube for some tips on how to make a great fireplace fire and stumbled upon this video, which is mildly amusing. I'm not going to try and fool you into thinking it's gold or anything. Morgan Freeman has his hands in just about every part of existence. Tis all I have to say about that.

In the dark my eyes become irritable and sensitive to light

In the night I wake sometimes with sensitive eyes.
Please excuse the following flop of words as I attempt to explain what I mean by "sensitive" eyes.
The room is always dark.
The time of night fluctuates.
I wake from a dream and am aware of how badly my eyes are sensitive to light (in the same way as coming out into a sunny day from inside a building).
My eyes are still closed at this point but are acting as if I am staring directly into the sun.
I must open my eyes to settle my mind.
The darkness helps.
I close my eyes and return to the blinding uncomfortable feeling.
Flashes of light fill my closed eyes as if lightning is striking just on the other side.
I open my eyes and close them numerous times to clear the flares.
This can go on for up to an hour.
I fall asleep and forget to write it down.

This is not a new occurrence.
I have a vivid memory of a younger me (less than 10 years old) in the bed at my grandmother's house. I am there and so is my aunt and cousin.
I have one of these light shows happen and take it as a sign from God.
I freak out.
As I am screaming and running to the bathroom to get away from the reach of whatever ethereal presence just wanted my attention, my aunt looks at me with a "what on earth is going on" look.
I should explain that my grandmother was an extremely religious individual.
It was not uncommon to get up to use the restroom late in the night and find her reading the bible at her kitchen table.
My less-than-developed brain thought God himself had reached down through my eyelids in a blinding display of power and that her house was a beacon for all things unexplainable and downright freaky.
I now know it's not God doing this to me.
My running theory is that I actually sleep with my eyes open and that after many hours they become so dry that closing them is painful.

When you hear a siren, say nothing

If this is you when hearing a police/medic siren: "I have to run, they're coming for me"  or even worse, "You better run, the cops are after you" there are some things I want you to know.

You're not creative. It's not funny. KNOCK IT OFF!

Those around you only acknowledge the words for the same reason trophies are given to young children in sports—so they feel better about themselves for putting on a uniform and being "on a team." Many Americans are too polite to tell you to shut that mouth of yours in person. Me included. So I will do it here. Shhhhhhh. Just don't say it. Let the sirens go by without a word and maybe I'll buy you pizza afterwards.

The only team you're on is the team I wish we could strap megaphones too so that you're stupid voice blasts in your own ear for a year straight. Say it one more time and it will be two years.

LOL. That is all