It's time to raise awareness for a thing that I have not ever heard of anyone else suffering from. Here is what I want you to do to raise awareness. Go ahead and bite the side of your tongue as hard as you can. Drawing blood is preferable, but not 100% required to be the fullest raiser of awareness.
Great! Now that you have done that, wait a day or two for it to swell. After your tongue has turned into a perfect mold for how your teeth look when they mash down on soft skin, go ahead and try to eat food. Any type of food will do, as ever single thing you put in your mouth brings you close to tears. It's the motion of tongue rubbing on teeth that brings the most accurate feeling of what I go through. I guess it is a little unfair of me to ask you to knowingly do this to yourself, as my tongue biting happens at night so I don't have to psych myself up...it just happens all on its own.
Definitely without my permission too I might add. I mean, who willingly signs up for this?! Certainly not any creature that needs to drink water in order to survive. Today at work I was carefully drinking water, you know to keep it on one side of my mouth, when a little got over to the red zone and I almost lost my mind. It hurts so very bad. My spit factory went into hyper drive and the cool water from the Nalgene quickly turned into the warm familiar fluid I swallow every 30 seconds when I have a chunk missing from my tongue.
I've been quiet at work lately and let me just say that if you know someone who is quiet, cut them some damn slack. Maybe they just bit their tongue and in order to save face, they keep their mouth shut so that drool doesn't pour from their face like a hose leaking warm clear saliva. Okay I realize they could be a "quiet" person for a multitude of reasons. Some people are just that way and you should be okay with that.
Another terrible side effect of this tongue lashing is not being able to kiss my girlfriend. If my eyes are watering from my own tongue occupying the tiny space in my mouth, I would legitimately go insane if her tongue was in their too. I showed her this picture before posting this and she told me it was, "The single most unattractive thing I have ever seen." That says a lot coming from her as she is a CNA. She's literally seen some SHIT.
I remember the first time I suffered from this terrible luck of biting my tongue. It was back in middle school when I tried to bunny-hop my bike up a curb and goofed the bunny-hop part. I don't remember how the biting went down, but it was the worst biting to date. Bad enough for me to still remember it for cry eye!
The only thing that helps get ride of it is mouthwash. Now if you have ever used mouthwash, on a normal day it sort of burns...right? I want to remodel the walls of my house with a fist when I swish that hot blue pain around my mouth. The pain radiates down the roots of my teeth and punches me in the jaw bone and the only thing I can do it clench.
So I am going to set up a link on my blog. You can donate money to me in this desperate time of need. HA HA
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